~~After having been rescued from the T-1000, John Connor and his mother fled the United States and are now living as marauders in Mexico. They are currently squatting in an abandoned aluminum grain silo.~~
~~John examines the mechanical arm he salvaged after the last battle, left by his saviour, the model T-800. He contemplates his future as well as that of mankind, while his mother swipes underwear from tourists outside~~
Suddenly...
*Clang clang*
John: Mom, is that you? Did you get clean ones this time?? Mom?
*Clang clang*
John: Who...who's there?!?
~~The door smashes open~~
Terminator: Come with me if you still want to live.
John: Holy crap!!! It's one of the BeeGee's!
So you work for Skynet too, huh? I knew you guys were robots!!
Terminator: No John, it is I, another T-800, come to save your ass again. Where is Sarah Connor?
John: Wow, it's really you!! ALRIGHT!!!
Oh, mom's out right now, why?
Terminator: I have been sent back in time to Terminate Sarah Connor.
John: WHAT?!?!
Terminator: Apparently, after you invaded Skynet and dispatched the T-1000 in the second movie, you and your mother struggled to stay alive as fugitives. You took to a life of crime--robbing, stealing, and committing countless other felonies just to survive. The future John Connor literally morphed into a fat loser right before our very eyes, and now, the humans are beginning to lose the war. I knew I had to eliminate your mother's bad influence before it was too late.
John: NOO!!! I won't let you!!!
*lunges at the Terminator*
Terminator: Be reasonable, John, it has to be done. The future must be saved.
John: NO!! You can't!! I order you not to kill my mother, I ORDER YOU!
Terminator: Hmm...then perhaps there is another way. But it will require we travel back to 1978. Are you ready?
John: I...I suppose so. If it will help save mom.
~~ZZZZZZAAAAAAAPPPPPP~~
John: Wow, where are we?
Terminator: We are currently underneath Rahway State Prison in New Jersey. If we hurry, I think we can make it in time for the opening remarks...
~~AFTER A SHORT CLIMB, THE TWO ARE TAKEN INTO AN ISOLATED ROOM AND THE PARTY BEGINS...12 CONVICTS ARE PARADED OUT AND THEY GET READY TO SPEAK WITH THE KIDS~~
Lifer: Welcome to Hell, punks! For the next 93 minutes and 17 seconds, we're gonna show you what it's like to be in jail with one of us sorry asses!
Terminator: He sounds good. I hope you learn something from this John, it is very important.
Two Scoops: Man, I've been here for over twenty years. I've never heard a car horn honking, or a f*ckin' bird chirping...but if you wanna hear a man scream while he's getting screwed up the ass, I can tell you about that!
HOLY CRAP, this is some F*CKED UP SH*T!!!
I...I gotta go, John...I can't handle this
John: No!! You have to stay here with me...you made me come, now you have to sit through it too!
Two Scoops: Is something going on over there?
Another Convict: I think they're makin' fun of ya, Two Scoops
Two Scoops: Oh, is that right? What you got to say for yourself, kid?
John: Uhh...nothing sir, sorry about that
Two Scoops: What the hell you smiling for!? You laughing at Two Scoops?
John: No, sir! I assure you that I'm not!
Two Scoops: I don't believe you. Take off your shoes!
John: What?!
Two Scoops: Take off your d*mn shoes, kid!
Terminator: Leave him alone.
Two Scoops: What'd you say, leather man? You're a big guy...you think you're tough, don't ya? Why don't you hit me?
How about it? You hit me, and I'll hit you back.
Terminator: Sure
John: NO, Terminator!! Remember, you promised you wouldn't go around killing people!
Terminator: Strange...you made another T-800 promise that, but for some reason I remember about it also.
Fine.
I will not hit you, Two Scoops
Two Scoops: That's what I thought. Now take off your shoes, both of you!
~~JOHN AND THE TERMINATOR REMOVE THEIR SHOES~~
Two Scoops: Now you, big guy, take off your clothes too!!
~~THE TERMINATOR TAKES OFF HIS CLOTHES~~
Two Scoops: Now grab my belt, b*tch!!!
Terminator: Like this?
Two Scoops: Yeah, like that!
YOU SEE!?! This is what happens when you can't punch somebody. You become his b*tch!!
I OWN HIM!! I can trade him to another guy for a pack of cigarettes! Then he'll become HIS b*tch!!
What's your name?
Terminator: I am a model T-800 cybernetic organism.
Two Scoops: "T" huh? Not anymore, b*tch, your name is Tiffany!! Now get outta the d*mn room!
Terminator: Okay.
*as he is leaving*: John, don't worry...I'll Be Bach
~~THE TERMINATOR LEAVES THE ROOM~~
Two Scoops: Now where was I? Oh yeah, now see, they have these carpets in every cell, right? And...
~~DOOR BUSTS OPEN~~
*RATATATATATATA...*
Lifer: Awww...SH*T...
Terminator: Hey, Two Scoops...how does Two Scoops of lead raisins in your ass sound, b*tch?!
~~AFTERWARDS~~
Terminator: I'm sorry I signed you up for that stupid Scared Straight Program, John. I know you will turn out okay and save humanity in your own way.
John: Well, I never wanted to go to jail anyway...and after seeing this, I'm definitely gonna clean up my act. So, thanks Tiffany.
Terminator: No problem.
Hey!
John: HAHAHAHA, okay okay! 'Terminator' I meant! *chuckle*
Terminator: Hmm... I know now why you laugh. But I am not capable of doing it.
Now you must Terminate me. My mission is complete.
John: Nope, not this time, T! I'm not letting you go away again. You've been programmed to follow my every command, so you're my property, get it?! Now grab my belt, we're going to get some ice cream.
Tiffany: Hmm...technically, you are correct. It appears 'Scared Straight' has taught us some valuable lessons after all.
The future just got a little bit brighter today, didn't it John?
John: Whatever.
. | 
